I’m tired and you should be too!
I’m tired!
I’m tired of being called pushy for asking a question in a meeting.
I’m tired of being called aggressive for driving a project to completion.
I’m tired of being called rude for requesting an update on a KPI.
I’m tired of being called crazy for speaking out and expressing my emotions.
I’m tired of men taking credit for my work.
I’m tired of being the note taker just because I’m the only woman on the call.
I’m just plain tired of women being marginalized, bullied, belittled. And you should be too!
It's astounding to me the number of women who have come up to me and told me their story. If you think you are the only one going through this. You are not!
I have watched heads of departments reduced to tears cause of bullying. This is a mother, a strong woman, who has been pushed to the edge of her limits. Not because she lacks the skill or mental capacity to deal with pressure, but because she has endured several cycles of systemic abuse by powerful men.
I have watched men not acknowledge the role that the women in the company played in its success and ROI. I have watched as men patted themselves in the back and congratulated themselves on being masters of the universe when it was four women that brought in the revenue.
I have watched men sexually assault women and have been sexually assaulted.
I watched as my million dollar project was called “your little project” by lesser men.
So go ahead call me bipolar, mentally unstable, rude, pushy, aggressive, or any other dehumanizing language. But I’m tired of watching and allowing all of this to happen to me — to us! And you should be too. Too long have we stood in the sidelines and allowed ourselves to be sidelined. I too was planning on remaining silent, but the recent speech by AOC and the stories that women have told me in the past few weeks has pushed me into doing something.
I would be remiss if I didn’t point out, it was not all men all the time. I have also watched men stand up for me for being called a bitch, bosses fire employees for sexual assault, and I have watched bosses defend me when I was bullied. However, a few good men, unfortunately, is not enough to break this system of cyclic abuse towards women.
I would like to recall a conversation I had with a friend recently — she said to me — “Karthi we have to put a stop to this patriarchy and abuse, I don’t want my daughter to work in such environments”. And she is right! Do we really want our daughters exposed to such work environments? As AOC said every time a man behaves badly, especially men in power, you are giving permission to other men to treat your daughters and wives the same way. If you are a man reading this, you should be tired too! Ask yourself — do you want another man speaking to and treating your daughters the same way that some of you treated us? Spoke to us? Do you want your daughter and the mother of your grandchildren reduced to tears cause her boss bullied her?
So I’m tired! And its time I did something about it. So I’m going to dedicate the rest of my living years to champion women — more women in boardrooms, more women in STEM, more women in office. This is the only way, my friend’s daughter and others like her can work in a safe environment.
A few links: